Post Birthday Party Blues

Have you ever got out of bed and thought there was something important you should be doing today?
Yes! good, then I'm not alone. That was me last Saturday, I have the excuse that I'd spent most of Friday afternoon and evening on the toot - a friends' birthday do! Problem was this was in Portsmouth, Hampshire - not the one in Calderdale which would have made the day much simpler. So in my overhung state I realised that I needed to get to Barnsley for the game against Charlton, now it's a minimum 4 hour journey, longer if you drive an old Freelander like I do (yes its now got an MOT - see last weeks' posts). But with this being the holiday season, straight away I knew I was going to be in trouble.

If you use the A34 from Winchester to Oxford on a regular basis you'll know what I mean. There were caravans everywhere:

• who in there right mind wants to tow their house behind them?
• Stacks of cars overladen with overweight offspring
• rear windows obstructed by everything but the kitchen sink
• Halfords roof rack boxes, bursting at the seams

And worst of all, a MG Midget, with a fat OAP wearing Ray Ban pilot sunglasses and what looked like a 3 foot long comb-over flying like a pennant behind him, doing 54 Mph in the centre lane of the M3. Laugh I nearly took out an Audi A3 trying to do 120 with a twat of a horse-faced hooray Henry driving it - suppose it wouldn't have hurt. I'm sure there's a box in all Audi's where you place your brain before you're allowed to start the car.

Anyway enough of that, no doubt they were off on their holidays, but did they not know I was on a mission? It was going to be Barnsley or bust.

Amazingly, once past Oxford and past the queues for the M40 it was easier going the rest of the way. With the exception of the  Ford Fiesta learner driver in the wrong lane at the A43 roundabout just off the M40. I have sympathy for them, but why are they trying to be taught how to drive in traffic that is way over their abilities?

I suppose after all my impatience all the above would love to learn that on my arrival at Oakwell justice was served on me by Mother Nature. As soon as I got out the car the heavens opened and I got piss wet through. Five minutes later sun's out and I'm steaming away like a gud un! Not funny!!!! At least I'd made it in time for the match, and even managed a quick pint in the Mount.